We’ve all seen wedding toasts.
Some bring a tear to your eye.
Some make you wish you had brought a pillow to catch a quick nap.
Some just make you cringe.
No one wants to be responsible for a cringe-worthy speech - here are some tips and tricks to make sure your wedding toast is memorable for all the right reasons.
#1. Prepare (and Practice).
“I do better without a script” “I’ve got an idea what to say, I’m just going to let it flow”
We’ve all been there. The stress of a situation gets the best of us and we don’t prepare like we should. This is one of those times you really need to. In most cases the person doing the toasting doesn’t speak in public often or use a microphone - not to mention adding alcohol and an emotional day to the mix. I do both for a living (minus the alcohol) as an MC/DJ for weddings and also on the radio. Without question, I do better with a script. A script keeps you centered, and keeps your toast moving along - hopefully in the right direction. It doesn’t mean you have to, and it will be better received if you don’t, read it word for word. That’s where the practice comes in. Practice your toast enough that you are comfortable with it. That will allow you to ad-lib a little while you are speaking. The more confident you are with it, the better you will be able to present it.
#2. Short & Sweet
We’ve all seen the over prepared parent or Maid of Honor. You know, the one that comes up with a half dozen or more typed pages. On occasion those toasts can be quite good, but more often than not they drag on with no real point. I’m not saying not to tell a heartfelt story or two, but most guests don’t need or want to listen to your entire childhood story. Keep your speech light, fun, and loving - everyone will appreciate it.
#3. Keep it Clean
“We were at this party back in High School - you remember that girl and…” Please don’t.
Your toast is not the time to recount stories that make your buddy blush. Before you tell any story, ask yourself if you would tell it with the bride or groom’s grandparents sitting around the kitchen table - sober. If the answer is no, steer clear. Focus on happy, G to PG memories that you’ve shared. Your wedding toast isn’t a time to try to embarrass anyone or bring up unpleasant memories. Keep it clean, and avoid getting the hook.
#4. End on a High Note
All speeches should have a natural structure to them. An introduction (please don’t go with the cliche “for those of you that don’t know me” or “I wrote this on the way today”), a body (your main content, stories, etc), and a conclusion (where you tie everything all together). This is why it’s important to write your speech ahead of time and use a script. By putting all the pieces together, putting in the practice, and keeping your toast to around 3 minutes you are sure to have a great toast that everyone will love.
But wait, there’s more!
Above I’ve covered tips for writing a good toast but being a MC/DJ it’s part of my job to help you sound good too.
#1. The Microphone is Your Friend
One of the most common thing we see is people who are afraid of the microphone, or think they “talk loud” so they don’t need it. Unless you are giving the toast in a quiet room with 20 or less people, you need the microphone.
#2. Keep It Close
I always tell my toasters to think of the microphone like an ice cream cone - both work better when they’re close you your mouth. If you are holding the mic, hold the microphone nearly horizontal and 1 to 2 inches from your mouth. If it’s on a stand, make sure the head of the mic is at the same height as your mouth and stay within the 1 to 2 inch distance.
#3. Project
The microphone is a great tool, but it has it’s limits. You can audibly hear those limits when the speakers experience feedback during your toast (that loud screechy sound). Many times as DJs we experience feedback when trying to turn up the volume to hear what a soft-spoken toaster is saying. I always tell people using my microphone to speak like they’re trying to talk to people at the next table. Doing this, and keeping the microphone near your mouth, eliminates most microphone issues.
#4. No Pacing Please
When we get nervous, we pace. We fidget, wonder, and gesture. It’s important to not do these things (especially if your mic is on a stand). The more moving you do, the more likely it is that you’re moving the microphone around as well. Your toast should be around 3 minutes long, when you stand to give your toast, find 2 or 3 focal points around the room to keep you focus (and you) from wandering.
#5. Don’t Drop It
Who doesn’t love a big ending with a mic drop? The DJ, that’s who. Mics are sensitive, and pretty expensive. Not only can you destroy a microphone by dropping it, but you can also damage or destroy speakers when the sound of the mic hitting the ground is amplified through them. Did I mention microphones are expensive? The mic I hand to my toasters is about $500; each speaker is around $1000. Intentionally damaging someone’s equipment will not only hurt your wallet, but it could also disrupt the wedding if a speaker were to be destroyed and no back up was available. Yes, we have back up equipment at every event, but please don’t drop the mic.
